Diary Entry #1- Newborn Kajira

About two weeks ago..I decided to step out of my box and take a risk. I have been playing around with the idea of becoming a slave for awhile in Second Life. The proposition of being owned by someone has its enticements. But also it’s challenges. In real life, dominance is my role. I am the one who makes the decisions in my relationship…the only ones I have ever been submissive to are my parents. That relationship is far from the one that was presented to me in this new world.

Why then am I seeking submission? I am curious about the feelings a slave feels…they roles they take on. The duties to their Masters that make the role so appealing; for it is one of the most popular RP games in SL. So I started collecting Kajira clothing. The true attire of Gorean slave girls. Gor is a fictional world made up by some author I do not remember. They base their culture on men being dominates and females either being submissive or free women. Of course there are exceptions to all these rules. But the base concept is this. I am very interested in reading these books..although I know most of it may be quite offensive to me- come to think of it, this whole process is quite offensive to me…but I am curious to know about it nonetheless.

I was not outwardly seeking a Master..but I was putting my toe in the water so-to-speak by visiting safe places that encouraged Gor and Medieval RP. This allowed me to understand and observe a few slave and master interactions. This helped me to conclude that I would prefer a more medieval approach- as opposed to the true Gorean way of life. Gor is very strict…and with my limited and naïve knowledge of the subject, medieval seemed a better option. I did not know how to enter into this- but it seems God is directing my path to enlightenment, because a Master that fit all my criteria stumbled upon me in a sandbox. I was trying on slave clothing I had just acquired..it came with slave papers attached to my leg..he clicked on them to see what they said. It startled me so I teleported out..but after I did so, something told me…this is your chance. So I instant messaged the new Master…was directed to my first collar..and submitted to him.

It is a strange sound..the clicking of the lock on your collar. They even describe the sound in the Gorean books as the most powerful and memorable sound a slave girl will know. I agree with this. With that sound, you are claimed. You loose your rights, your will…your very self in some cases. You become property- HIS property..and from that moment on, you must do everything he wishes.

Much has happened as far as my tutelage has gone. I have been with my Master for two weeks. So far I have been wooed, taught lessons, experienced the sexual part of my slavery and tried to leave him. He is quite a cunning individual. Whenever I think that I have my duties down, he teaches me yet another lesson. Punishment is really futile in SL..one can always leave the world by logging off if punishment is too severe..so the biggest threat would be for the Master to leave his slave. But this does not happen often with a slave that is valuable to him. Which according to him, I am.



Challenges I have come across so far..numerous. One big issue is my ability to let everything go. To accept that I am his..and also trying to keep my guard up while following the biggest rule my Master puts upon me. Complete honesty with all my feelings. If I let myself feel too much, I will fall for him. I do not want this- he has many women under him..and he’s very persuasive in the fact that he makes you feel special. But I know it’s a game or a ruse to him- despite his constant reassurances that he is honest. He’s even gone to say that he loves me. But I will not utter these words to him. I know this is what he desires….but I cannot say it. I naturally have a hard time expressing my emotions. This is problematic with the sexual area of my position. I find myself “playing” along with him..and after typing an emote, burying my head in my blanket in agony. My fear of failure at this is inhibiting me. I do not want to say something that will cause him to think I am stupid or undesirable. His answer to this dilemma…maybe I will like it, maybe I will not. That is for me to decide and for you to not worry about.

Worry to me is like breathing. I must worry about things..or they fall into the cracks. Problems will arise and things will fester. He tells me I worry to much..issues that arise are his responsibility. He chooses the path at all times. If we fail, it is his failure not mine because he is the dominate being. Statements such as these endear me to him. Which I suppose is the point. Such a foreign concept to me…but one I find relieving- like lifting a weight off my shoulders.

Last night, he took me to a slave auction. My Master has been introducing me to numerous forms of slave play. Mostly because I do not know my limits as I have not experienced any of them. It was an experience I will not forget. A woman, naked was chained to a cross on a stage. Not a biblical cross, but one that looked like an X. All eyes were on her and people were bidding on her. Emotes were flying. She ended up selling for 9000 lindens. Which equivalents to a little over $30 in USD. This much money for a week’s worth of servitude and the possibility of ownership. He took me around the square..showing me the silent auctions. There was a woman there bound who went for 60,000 lindens the week before. Each slave had a notecard that explained their limits, fantasies and qualifications. As we searched..I was curious but became increasingly more disgusted. It was prostitution. Plain and simple..with the disguise of slavery role play.

My Master asked me how it made me feel..to which I replied honestly. He was confused by this- saying it would arouse most women in my situation. So should I change my way of thinking? I decided no…I have come into this, not seeking to be bought. Just to be dominated, taught, opened up…I would not like to be put up on a block and auctioned off for men or women to do as they please to me. I asked him if this was his wish for me…and to my relief he said..no, not with you. I am not quite sure if this was to help reinforce my ability to trust him..or to prove that I am special to him…or to simply see what my interests were. All I know is that it was an experience that taught me much..in a very short period of time. Instantly..I knew what I wanted sexually and from this role as slave. And I knew that my Master would not allow me to be treated inappropriately.