She dreams of things she cannot see
In silent thoughts where hearts are free.

It's all the things that are not real
That make her live and truly feel.

What kind of life is this to live
Where sanity of mind is all to give?

Letting go is a battle she cannot win
And in this battle she creates her sin.

And though these feelings are like a knife
She cannot leave her Second Life.

What's missing?

I want to be an element...like the air or water. I love the way water feels around your body..but I think I would prefer to be air...the wind. People can feel you..but never see you- and you can see everyone. I would know the truth to things...to see the moments in lives that no one cares to see.
Have you ever seen a woman standing alone..with something on her mind..and the wind suddenly blows through her hair. The initial small surprise..and then the submission as her hair flutters around her face. She will let it flow for a moment..enjoying the feel...then remember that she must keep her stylish composure..and start to smooth her hair back into place?
I think women are so beautiful. I don't have any sexual desire for them...but we are beautiful creatures. All when we are not trying that hard. It's the thoughtful moments..the quiet contemplative moments in which a woman shows her true beauty. And when she is truly truly happy..letting all of her inhibitions go. Just being innocent.
I strive to acheive that beauty everyday in myself...but no one sees it. Maybe I dont' have it...And if I do, do people recognize it? And want to see it in every woman?
The wind knows...and trys to tell us. With that single flutter of the hair, it says..I notice you..I will make you even more beautiful.
I want to be the wind..such a subtle way to make someone feel wonderful. :) Guy or girl. Or maybe..I want someone like the wind.....

It's just a game...why do i feel like this?

So I wanted to live on the edge...I wanted to see what it was like to be bad. To just not care anymore and do what I felt like doing at the moment I wanted. I felt powerful- and had a surge of excitement at first..now, I just feel like shit.

It makes me think....what if I had lived my RL like this? I don't think I could've survived...if a game is effecting me this much. Wow...I am glad for SL...because- if anything, this is a learning experience. An outlet for all the things I wished I could do and never experienced..it's a "safe" way, to live your fantasies.

I just didn't think it would emotionally impact me as much as it has.

:(